Letter 2

My beloved Bal,

And now coming along. A year has rolled by and the happy day has come back again! Only those who had been in a jail can fully appreciate what a Soul-entrancing blessing it is to hear from home, to write to Home!! Sweet- sweet something like the sweetness of conversation in the moonlight, by the sea-beach, with one whom one loves and adores! But wait; the bell is gone and I must go to take my food—it is 10 A.M. …yes, now I have come back again, after having taken my food in the general file of the denizens of the jail. Yes I said it was sweet; in fact the day of a letter to Home is to me always the real पाडवा my new year’s day; I count my year from that day; for I get a stock of energy and enthusiasm from the communion with my chosen few, which enables me to breathe and live and laugh a year further on. I was sorry not to write earlier and to compel you to undergo the troubles of sending a telegram. The authorities had kindly informed me of it. But you see, brother, though a year was past and I was entitled to send a letter yet the antediluvian spirit of our postal system here does not carry a letter to Calcutta from this place unless some five or six weeks after it is written so I am told. That is why a letter cannot be sent unless some fourteen months go by. But then any letter that you send reaches here almost as soon as in this twentieth century it ought to. From your letter I am so glad to learn that you are in sound health and passed the examination with credit. Examination or no examination, you must not neglect your health. No. I long to see you robust, bubbling with health and freshness and vigour. The dawn of youth, that is just breaking upon you, is the very fountain of life and energy. So do not waste it by overwork of any one member in excess of the rest. But grow in harmony, brain and body. You are a Doctor yourselves and it is a bit of presumption on a layman’s part to insist on good health. But then youth is blind and forgets to lay by, a fund of energy and life, while the vital forces are still welling up from within, and the organism is growing so that when the winter of age comes, they may have abundant fund of vitality to draw on. Otherwise if your eyesight is weakened, if you look like the willow of a man – I will shout out ‘Physician, heel thyself’! (Don’t laugh in the sleeves- for I am not a physician and so I can afford to have a bad eyesight! For all lawyers have it – at least ought to have!) And how proud am I to know that some of my pet lambs, have come out first class B.A.s and M.A.s. That is noble! But then nobler when the field of duty that faces them now, is also well fought and well own, and are hailed therein too, as deserving of its gold medals of that great corporation of man, the gold medals of these so-called ‘Universities’ are as of tinsel! I should be so glad to hear from them personally- for some of them are never absent from my memory even down to this day: About those who inform you voluntarily to do so, write to me by naming and particularizing.

The books which you sent are simply capital. The महात्मा परिचय - what a fine translation.- and the introduction of two lines how modest and appropriate –‘फोडिले भांडार, धन्याचा हा माल। मी तव हमाल भार वाही’ ! I liked it awefully. And the ‘जाईचा मंडप ’! No sooner did I go through a dozen of pages, then each time, each word began to pulsate harmoniously with my heart, and I knew who could have written it! The language is worthy of the sentiments so poetic and sublime, worthy of the theme, and theme worthy of both. I wish that such popular series as the भारत गौरव माला realize their responsibility of guiding and not only tickling the popular fancy and so publish every now and then political history, science and economy, e.g. Mill’s Representative Government etc. About the books on Vedant philosophy, well, I fear it is not opportune that such men should be busy with such things. The Americans need Vedant philosophy, and so does England; for they have developed their life to that fullness, richness and manliness- to Kshatriyahood and so stand on the threshold of that Brahminhood, wherein alone the capacity to read and realize such philosophy can co-exist. But India has not. We are at present all शूद्रा ऽ and cannot claim access to the Veda and Vedanta.

That is the underlying idea why shudras were not allowed to Vedas; not certainly not, for cruelty, nor for narrow or vested interest- otherwise पुराणा ऽ would not have been written by the very Brahmins expounding the same philosophy more lucidly. We, as a Nation, are unfit for these sublime thoughts, for it is well known that Bajirao II was a great Vedantist and that is why, perhaps, he could not see the difference a kingdom and a pension. Let us study history, political science, science, economy, live worthily in this world, fulfil the गृहस्थाश्रम - the householders’s duties – and then the वानप्रस्थाश्रम and its philosophic dawn might come. And whatever these works are meant to do, they might be left to be written by widows, old men and pensioners out of offices. They should live in past – old works and old puzzles of God and soul and man. The young, the youth – why not live in the future? Talk of Vedanta! – Benares has not produced a single martyr and they cannot give up a farthing for their fatherland!!!

And now, something about myself here. Well, during the last year, I had no illness, whatever. My health is excellent and my weight, as yet, unreduced and that is a feat, is it not? In this tiny cellular sanitarium, I get up early, take regular amount of food regularly, and go to bed early- in fact have to do all these things and so ‘early to bed and early to rise’ is making me healthy – (though not ‘wealthy and wise’! In fact you, Oh would be Doctor Saheb! Could not have devised a better time table for your patients. And, good as is the health of my body, the health of my mind is better still. Any work hard or mean, I ply myself to humming every now and then, ‘स्वे स्वे कर्मण्यभिरतः संसिध्दिं लभते नरः’ or ‘यतः प्रवृत्तिर्भूतानां येन सर्वमिदं ततम् । स्वकर्मणा तमभ्यर्च्य सिध्दिं विंदन्ति मानवाः’ or ‘सर्वारंभा हि दोषेण धूमेनाग्निरिवावृताः’! And every evening – for now a days I am in a cell from which a bit of the sky is visible – I watch the glorious sunset and the pomp of light and shade and loose myself in the rose and the lilly, and the lilac of the west; thinking now this and now that ; from the poets ‘एकतस्तटत मालमालिनीम् । पश्य धातुरसनिम्नगामिव ’ Or ‘तेन मानिनि ममात्र गौरवम् ’ to the profoundest fancies of idealist philosophers, that all that seems is but subjective affection and there is nothing objective to correspond to it – at least we do not know of it. And my mind is perfectly happy – happy even as it was in his company there – with her company there !! And if at times, the mind like a child gets silly and simply will weep – then the Grand Reason steps in the smiles ‘well sweet heart, what ails thee? – what unknown you suffer? How silly! Did you want to ride on the crest of ambition, drive in the chariot of self –glorification yourself ? If you did, well, then you deserved to be baffled and defeated in such a selfish and demoralizing ambition! –But God and I know you did not covet any reward personally – no, neither fame nor name nor land nor lucre, nay, not even happiness. The only thing you wanted was to be privileged to suffer most ! At least that is what you used to say in my presence ! –to sacrifice most, for others, for humanity:- Then lo ! where is the disappointment ? you have done ‘यज्ञं सर्वस्वदक्षिणम्’ are suffering without end, without limitation of time ! Not a minute, not an action of yours that is not dedicated to the purification of the race through suffering. Then rejoice! What could could you have done better than this ? And the mind plumes its feathers again, and soars, and rises and sings once more ! But if ever the mind still goes on still puffing up its little Ego, then the Grandam takes it out and showing the world says ‘There are the Himalayas 1 There was a time that they were not there and a time there will come when they shall not be there !!!And this moon and this solar system and the Sidereal !! It is too much then for that little mind; it forgets itself, is absorbed in the Universe- ashamed of its self-importance and self-care!!!
So my beloved Bal, both of us here are in perfect health of body and mind. Do not care at all about us. The only thing that we feel individually attaches us to this world is thy health and safety. So if you guarantee these two – of course, try your best and then we do not care for the result-we shall be happiest. As yet jail has left no mark, no shadow on us for anything worse –and all this health is in spite of circumstances and not in virtue of them. You have written about the petition you sent to the authorities here enquiring about the time of visit &c. Well in fact I ought to have been, according to the practice here, released from this cellular jail and allowed to live on the island. My ‘behaviour’ is admittedly good. But then neither of us is released. I am trying to request to Government to reconsider this and you too whenever you want to know anything be written to the authorities here. Very soon our dearest Baba will have done his 5 years and you can then claim a visit . But our release and permission to bring our relations here to live with us, the authorities here can do very little, though they can do every thing in the case of other convicts. Nor they are very much to be blamed, for orders we suppose come directly from the Indian Government. So you better send a petition to the Indian Government whenever you fail to know anything directly from the authorities here. But even as it is do not worry yourself about any arrangements concerning us. The Government will do in all likelihood all that justice demands themselves. And we shall be reminding them every now and then. What else have we do ? You only care for your health and safety. I am glad you remember what I told you in the High Court.

Assure our beloved Yamuna that these four years will not pass without ushering the dawn of a happier day. So let that noble heart and that heart –our dearest Vahini hold on ! Hold on even as they have been doing up to this time !! Let them read all ‘मराठी’ literature and not only the old mythological works but new and current and living streams of life’s expression in West and East. It was a sad Pride that I felt when I heard the noble death of our noble comrade and brother Sakharam.* You know it was in the High School days that we first saw each other ! He lived bravely –died bravely. What more can one wish for oneself ! His wife, dear Janki Vahini- well I have not seen her and yet have seen her through your pen-pictures. All that I feel for her that she is not poor, not ill starred- but called upon to play the holiest part in life even because it is the loneliest! Remember me to her, And how is tiny Vasant? Will the great little man write me a word ? He is now some 7 years old, is he not ? And his mother ? Oh ! I saw her for the last time in the Dongri jail! A sister is one of the richest gifts that a man can have!! Give my love to her and a sweet kiss to that great little gentleman- my Vasant ! Also remember me to all our relations- one and all –and above all to her who though not a relation and even because she is not a relation, whom I used to call jokingly the mother of the party and whom now in all seriousness and gratefulness I call as my own mother and who is standing by you and remember me-give her my most grateful regards and loving remembrances –names not to utter which seems a sacrilege and yet which cannot be uttered, for their own sake, from a prison wherein not only legs but tongues too are fettered! Well you know them all. I told you who were nearest to my heart as my most intimate friends-to all of them give my love, my fresher love! If some of them voluntarily ask you to be particularized in letters to me from you I will then imburden my heart and name them. The books that are to be sent to me I write down here. The time is up and so my sweetest Bal, I am with most reluctant steps receding and tearing myself away from you.